Regret: Friend or Foe?

Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.

-Mark Twain

I have long loved this quote.  I always thought it was a very nice idea.  I pictured myself leaning on the railing of a boat going out to sea, my hair blowing in the wind, and the excitement of a new adventure racing through my body.  I took this as a call to explore the world, to go backpacking through Europe, hiking and camping in the Himalayas and sandboard down the dunes of the Sahara.  I still want to do all of those things but I think this can have a much narrower application to my life with a much greater impact.

There are many simple opportunities that I have pasted up on in my life.  I regret the things I haven't done.  Not asking that girl out, not trying that activity, not signing up for that class.  I am done with not doing things I want because I am scared or because I am safe in the harbor.  I have been playing it safe for far too long, it's now my turn.  I can't live a life of regrets, no one can.  

I can't be passive and expect to get what I want.  The times I have been happiest in my life are when I have worked hard and put myself out there for something I wanted.  It may not have always worked out but I at least I know that I tired.  I never want the feeling that I lost something because I didn't try for it again.  

 

John Steinbeck said, "Nothing good gets away".  But is that really true?  I feel that because of my inaction good things have gotten away from me.  I have lost opportunities that I regret.  But that doesn't need to be a bad thing.  Regrets can be good.  I want to learn from my regrets.  I believe God gave us regrets so we don't repeat the same mistakes over again.  

 

What am I going to do today so I have no regrets tomorrow?  

 

 

Eid Al-Adha: Abu Darwish Mosque

After many long hours in the classroom my roommate Jesse and I were ready for a break.  Having the day off of school for the Islamic holiday Eid al-adha, we decided there was no better way to relax then to explore the heart of wast al-balad, the downtown area of Amman.  This turned out to be one of my favorite days in Jordan.  We were exploring the many different stairs that are found in wast al-balad, but we ended up discovering a lot more then simple stairs.  

We had heard that there was a mosque in the area that was made entirely of black and white tiles, we had no idea were this mosque was, so we set it as our destination and started walking.  One thing about people is they love to help you, even if they don't really know the answers.  Each person we stopped to ask how to get to the Abu Darwish Mosque, which we had learned was the name of the illusive checkered mosque, would tell us something different. It was confusing but I loved every second of it, this is a skill I learned on my mission.  If we wanted to get somewhere we would ask the people around us for directions, most of the time they had no idea so we would ask different people(who would each tell me something different) and walk around until we had found the place. It is a great way to talk to many different people and to get to know an area well.   Who ever said you don't learn anything on your mission?  

Luck was with us that day, because of the holiday the streets were overrun with children.  All of the young girls eagerly showing off the new clothes they received that holiday morning.  And the hordes of young boys with no adult supervision caused cautious walking for all.  Every male under the age of 12 in Amman, Jordan was the proud new owner of an air soft gun, much to the horror of all the neighborhood cats.  As always, the children were intrigued by the sight of Americans.  We quickly had 10 or 12 overly ambitious tour guides snaking us back and forth on the narrow pathways up to the Abu Darwish mosque.  

A young girl wearing a new bright yellow shirt with a flower over the right breast and pink shoes seemed to be the leader of this expedition. I could tell she was proud of that beautiful new shirt and was full of holiday excitement.  We would walk a few blocks and then she would stop to ask us one more time if we really spoke Arabic. "Aywa, banahki arabi" I am sure things would have gone on like this until we reached the mosque but one of the boys found shooting cats wasn't satisfying enough and turned his sights to our dutiful tour guide.  She ran away in tears, I was sad because the holiday excitement was gone from her eyes.  Without her the other children lost interest in us and wondered off one by one.  We were once again on our own, and no closer to the mosque.  We knew the mosque was on the top of the hill so as long as we were heading up we were going in the right direction.  

 Eid Al-Adha is a holiday of sacrifice.  It commemorates the miracle of the ram being provided to Abraham so he didn't have to sacrifice his son Ismael in the Islamic tradition or Isaac in the Judeo-Christian tradition. Every family if they can afford it will buy a goat, sacrifice it and then share the meat with friends and family.   Reaching the top of a particular flight of stairs we found a family cleaning up from their recently sacrificed goat, the blood still fresh on the steps of their porch.  We stopped and talked to the family and learned more about the process of sacrificing an animal.  I love the things you can find just by exploring an area. They invited us in, but we respectfully declined.  As much as I felt connected to the people I met in Jordan, sometimes there was something that reminded me that we truly did live in different worlds. This was one of those cases.  I could never imagine families in America killing goats in their front yards.

 Finally we made it to the top of the hill and found the Abu Darwish mosque.  If Tim Burton were ever to design a mosque he would have designed the Abu Darwish mosque.  With it's black and white tiles the structure looks more like the doings of a flamboyant millionaire then a mosque in a poor Muslim neighborhood.  But finding the mosque was only the beginning of the days adventures, more was to come.  Hopefully another post will be coming soon. 

 

The Sun of Nazareth

            Today I watched the sunrise and the sunset on the city of Nazareth.  I love the spirit of this town.  I can’t really explain it but I feel a connection to the people here.  We have been staying at a convent for the past two days that has a rooftop view of the city.  I decided to wake up early this morning to watch the sunrise.  With scriptures in hand I headed for the roof, I can’t really think of a better way to start off a day. 

            Our convent is across the street from the Church of the Annunciation, which commemorates the visitation of the Angel Gabriel to Mary to announce to her that she would carry the Christ child. (Luke 1:26)  Nazareth was the hometown of Jesus.  He grew up here as a boy playing games with other boys in the village.  As I walked up and down the hills and saw the view of the valley below I tried to imagine what it would have looked like for him. 

            But things were not always great for Christ in Nazareth.  After his forty day fast in the wilderness and being tempted by the devil he was ready to begin his ministry as the Messiah and what better place to start then his hometown.  He read a verse of Isaiah talking the Messiah to which Christ said, “This day is this scripture fulfilled in your ears” to which the men in the synagogue said, “This is not this not Joseph’s son?”  Can you imagine how crazy this situation must have seemed to the people of Nazareth?  Jesus, the boy next door, the son of Joseph the carpenter was claiming to be the Messiah.  They tried to throw him off a cliff for heresy but he was able to walk away and he left for Capernaum.  (Luke 4: 16-32)  It was never mentioned that Christ returned to the city of his youth after that.  I am sure not being accepted in Nazareth was a great source of sorrow for him.

            But I am also sure he is happy that there are many men and women now living in Nazareth, some who might even be the descendents of the people who rejected Christ, now proudly embrace his name.  They are the Arab Christians who live in this humble city. I felt very welcome among the Arab Christians. 

            Thanks to a friend I made at a corner grocery store I heard about the lighting of the Nazareth Christmas Tree.  After more then an hour of waiting and a missed dinner with the Nuns at the convent the tree was lit accompanied with a sky full of fireworks.  On that night I joined about 300 fellow Christians, myself being the only white person in the crowd, in celebrating the birth of our Savior in his hometown.  He may have been rejected here once but no longer, he watches over this city that I am sure of. .  After that some friends and I found a rooftop to watch the sunset.  I couldn’t help but feel a connection with Christ, envisioning him watching the sunset over the same hills.  

            From my friend at the corner grocery store to the lighting of the Nazareth Christmas tree to eating some really good shawarma I think I have fallen in love with this city set on a hill.

What are you all so worried about?

As my time here in Jordan comes to an end I am forced to look back and examine what I have learned from my study of Arabic.  My experiences here over the past four months have only confirmed the importance of persistence and the beauty of worry.  I have learned that over the past few years if you want something in life you need to persistently work towards that goal.  My most recent goal was Arabic.  I know I could study Arabic my entire life and never feel satisfied with my abilities. But I feel I have reached a benchmark even though the path of Arabic is endless.  I accomplished something that in the beginning I truly doubted if I strong enough or smart enough to complete.  It's a good feeling to have completed something you thought was impossible. 

Struggling to lose weight, getting into BYU, studying Arabic and other trials have taught me not to let hardships affect me negatively.  It's OK to worry, in fact it is a necessary part of life .  Worry is what drives me forward.  It is my motivation but you can't let the worry overcome you.  If you worry to much you become bogged down and you won't progress.  Too much worry can be debilitating, the right amount can be an impetus.  I think we all need a healthy douse of worry to push us forward.  If you're not worried about the future why would you do anything to change it?  

I have learned that when you are presented with a obstacle, don't freak out.  Take a step back, remove your self from the situation and analyze it, find the best way around it and then move forward with faith that things will work out.  Because here's the secret, they will.  

My sister reminded me of a scripture in 1 Nephi, "the tender mercies of the Lord are over all those whom he hath chosen, because of their faith, to make them mighty . . . " or at least, quietly persistent. It's the combination of being worried and persistent at the same time that leads to success.

 I am worried about my future, but that is a good thing.

Stairway to Amman

The city of Amman is built on a series of hills.  There really aren't that many flat areas.  Most of the time you are either walking up hill or down hill.  Because of this there are a lot of stairs here.  Here are some pictures of a few of my favorites.  Special thanks to my good friend Jesse who helped me discover a lot of these stairs.

A Call to Hair

The past few days I have been feeling the tingling of my follicles, maybe it's the stress of Arabic or maybe my manly desires manifesting themselves but I really have been missing my beard more then normal.

Let us just consider for a moment all the great men who proudly wear or have worn the beard:
Abe Lincoln
Ernst Hemingway
Santa Claus
Iron and Wine
Grizzly Adams
Lumberjacks
Chuck Norris
Zach Galifianakis
This list could go one forever

I really miss my beard

 

 

 

My beard and the Suleymaniye Mosque

"There is great truth in Alphonse Karr's remark that modern men are ugly because they do not wear their beards."
- George Augustus Henry Sala

“He that hath a beard is more than a youth, and he that hath no beard is less than a man”

-William Shakespeare

"Beards in olden times, were the emblems of wisdom and piety."
- Thomas Babington Macaulay

 

"A kiss without a mustache is like an egg without salt."
-Spanish proverb

Leviticus 19:27 "You shall not round the corners of your heads, neither shalt thou mar the corners of thy beard." (see even the scriptures support the wearing of a beard)

Beards are cool, I miss mine.  Just wanted all of you to know that.

Photos from Jordan

I am pretty sure the Arab man who took this photo thought we were pretty weird, his face just screamed, "Crazy Americans"

There were many more cars like these in the Museum.  Life would be good as the King.

Arab Hipsters!!!!!

The city of Salt, formerly the capital of Jordan.

They even have "Wall Mart" here in Jordan.